Balancing Tactics and Compassion: Inside Patty McConnell’s Approach to Crisis Negotiations

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What happens when your greatest strength in Law Enforcement isn’t force, but the power of conversation?

Retired Police Officer, SWAT Team Member, and veteran crisis negotiator Patty McConnell joins The Crisis Cop, Pat Doering, to reflect on her decades-long journey breaking barriers and saving lives across Northern Illinois. Patty’s unique path – from the only woman on her department to a central figure training the next generation – reveals how empathy, curiosity, and active listening are true superpowers at the heart of crisis negotiation.

Ready to discover why the right words can be mightier than any weapon, and how understanding and human connection can change – maybe even save – a life? It’s all here in this episode of The Crisis Cop Podcast.

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The Detailed Shownotes for This Episode of The Crisis Cop Podcast:

Looking for the detailed links, information and references used inside this episode? Read on below to find them all and remember to reach out to ask if there’s something else you’d like to see from this episode!

 

Timestamps for This Episode of The Crisis Cop Podcast:

00:00 Feeling like Benjamin Button

10:01 The influence of Harvey Schlossberg

13:04 Encouraging students to speak naturally

17:33 Negotiation mindset shift

24:44 Using silence in interrogation

31:15 Handling sensitive third-party situations

35:10 Join Two Guys Talking: Be a Reviewer

41:07 Comforting a distraught friend

49:34 Night shift stakeout experience

52:56 Psychological resilience in SWAT teams

59:37 Supporting teammates and recognizing trauma

01:06:57 Advice for aspiring law enforcement officers

01:08:09 Practicing crisis communication skills

01:13:48 Misconceptions about negotiation tactics

01:19:33 Podcast closing and call to action

 

Questions Answered Inside This Episode of Cops and Robbers Talk:

  1. The conversation focused on the evolution of career paths in law enforcement, especially for women in the late 1970s. What challenges and opportunities were discussed regarding being one of the few women in policing at that time?
  2. One concept discussed was the dual-track nature of police work: investigative versus tactical (SWAT/negotiations). How did these different tracks shape professional development and skill sets?
  3. A key theme that emerged was the importance of curiosity and genuine interest in others for effective negotiations. How can cultivating curiosity improve outcomes in high-stress crisis situations?
  4. The discussion explored the process of transitioning from street patrol to becoming a crisis negotiator. What fears and misconceptions did new negotiators tend to have, and how were these addressed?
  5. Several points were raised, including the idea that being a good negotiator is more about listening than talking. What active listening skills were highlighted, and how can they be applied both in law enforcement and everyday life?
  6. The episode described a critical incident where assumptions about an individual’s concerns (e.g., fear of more medical bills) affected negotiation tactics. How can law enforcement better gather and utilize intelligence to avoid missteps?
  7. One concept discussed was the use of emotion labeling and effective pauses as negotiation techniques. Why are these approaches particularly effective in crisis negotiation scenarios?
  8. A key theme that emerged was the impact of cumulative trauma and the need for psychological resilience in policing. What strategies were suggested for managing trauma and stress both individually and organizationally?
  9. The discussion explored the “triad of command” model during critical incidents. How does integrating incident, tactical, and negotiations leadership improve decision-making and outcomes?
  10. Several points were raised about advice for future negotiators, including pursuing diverse education and practicing skills outside traditional law enforcement roles. What benefits are associated with broadening one’s background, and how can prospective negotiators prepare for the unique demands of the field?

Links from this Episode:

— Get All of Pat’s Books via Amazon Now!

   – Crisis Cops: The Evolution of Crisis Negotiation in America

     – Crisis Cop 2: More Stories from the Front Lines of Crisis Negotiation

     – Calming the Chaos: My Life as a Crisis Negotiator in the St. Louis Area

  1. 2GuysTalking Podcast Network
  • Books & Training Materials
    • Compliance Surrender by Geno Dorough – Retired Crisis Negotiator: The foundational book on negotiation tactics – find it on Amazon or inquire to the hosts for a fair price.
    • Pat Doering – CrisisCop.Com’s newest negotiation book: For more content and practical advice, reach out via the podcast or website.

    Relevant Techniques & Philosophies

    • The “Four Rs” of Negotiation: Recognize, Respect, Reduce, and Remove barriers – as discussed by Geno Dorough – Retired Crisis Negotiator
    • Active Listening Skills: Essential for both negotiations and day-to-day policing – and featured throughout the episode.
    • Professional Communication in Law Enforcement: Why avoiding yelling and profanity matters for de-escalation and public image.

    Topics Covered in This Episode

    • The evolution of crisis negotiation in police work and CIT (Crisis Intervention Team) training.
    • Handling emotionally charged situations, and the effects of PTSD in law enforcement.
    • Building trust and rapport—even through difficult or traumatic incidents.
    • Why mentorship matters: Advice for new negotiators from Pat Doering – CrisisCop.Com and Meghan Taft – Limited License Psychologist & Crisis Negotiator.
    • The importance of preserving dignity and respecting emotional barriers during crisis calls.

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The Host of this Program:

Pat Doering - Host of The Crisis Cop Podcast - Crisis Negotiator, Police Officer, Writer, Father - Go Behind the BadgePat Doering

Pat Doering began his career as a police officer in 1996 and has served as a Police Hostage Negotiator since 2004. He has received formal negotiation training from the FBI, the London Metropolitan Police (Scotland Yard), and the Negotiation Program at Harvard University. As a graduate of the FBI National Academy (Class 248), Pat continues to provide guidance, formal training, and leadership mentoring worldwide.

In 2024, Pat retired from his law enforcement career but remains dedicated to fostering the next generation of Crisis Negotiators. He conducts live, on-site training events and online workshops designed to sharpen the skills of those interested in crisis negotiation.

“My goal is to share the knowledge and experience I’ve gained throughout my career in high-stakes situations. My speeches will help you become a better communicator and listener. I am committed to teaching and training the future of crisis negotiations.”

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The Guest Featured Inside this Program:

Crisis Negotiator Patty McConnell- a Guest on The Crisis Cop Podcast via WhatCopsWatch.Com & 2GuysTalkingPatty McConnell:

Patty McConnell’s law enforcement career began almost by happenstance. Coming from a family of teachers, policing wasn’t on her radar until a stint as a retail security guard alongside colleagues who were all applying to police departments. After trying out for a position herself, she was hired and thus began a remarkable journey that would span nearly five decades. Starting with the Winnetka Police Department in the late 1970s, Patty navigated the challenges of being the only woman in her department for over 20 years and steadily moved through the ranks, ultimately running the investigations division.

As her career progressed, Patty became involved in a regional homicide task force, gaining invaluable investigative experience. Eventually, her path shifted toward the SWAT world, where she was recruited to join the Northern Illinois Police Alarm System (NIPAS) team. Initially hesitant about the tactical side of SWAT, Patty found her niche in negotiation, embracing the team’s model where negotiators undergo the same SWAT training as operators to better understand both perspectives during critical incidents. Patty would go on to serve over two decades as a negotiator with NIPAS, working alongside 125 team members from 75 police departments across the Chicago suburbs.

Throughout her years in negotiation, Patty was profoundly influenced by her training and mentors, especially under the legendary Harvey Schlossberg, whose foundational approach to crisis negotiation set a standard for law enforcement worldwide. She embraced a philosophy of curiosity, compassion, and true active listening, believing these qualities to be the bedrock of effective negotiation. Her approach was shaped not just by formal education but also by life experience, professional relationships, and a drive to continuously learn and adapt. Patty’s dedication to ongoing education led her to attend conferences, absorb wisdom from leaders in the field, and later share her own expertise as an instructor.

Reflecting on her career, Patty describes her most meaningful contributions as both saving lives in the moment and inspiring the next generation of crisis negotiators. Since retiring, she has embraced her initial teaching ambitions, leading negotiation training sessions and emphasizing the power of words over force. Patty’s legacy is rooted in showing fellow officers the critical importance of understanding, empathy, and resilience—qualities that, as she says, have a greater impact than any weapon, and which she hopes will inspire future law enforcement professionals to value the life-changing potential of what they say and how they listen.

 

The Producer of this Program:

Mike Wilkerson - Co-host of The WhatCopsWatch.Com Podcast - Go Behind the BadgeMike Wilkerson:

Mike Wilkerson Is the PodFather of St. Louis, and has been hosting, producing, concepting and enhancing podcasts since 2005. As a professional content creator, Mike has been making and documenting every mistake in the Podcasting industry so you won’t have to when you’re ready to begin. With thousands of of hours of business, marketing and life experience behind and in front of the mic and keyboard, he has created a vibrant and always-growing business tapestry via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network.

As a perpetual student, Mike continues to foster interests in Crisis Negotiator Training, Firearms Instruction and helping people to find the next step in their career with an active interest in hunting light bulb moments.

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